Hey, Foodwala’s… welcome to another episode of tales of the Foodwalas.
The foodwala family were returning from the whirlwind tour of London,
The London Spotify playlist was being played on the Foodwala Mercedes Bose system and the long monotonous miles on the M1 and M6 were passing in a soundtrack of the greatest 80’s and 90’s classics.
This all screeched to a proverbial halt when the two Diva Foodwalee sisters announced that they were fed up with the “old people music” and they wanted to their curated playlist to be played in the car.
I argued that the driver picked the playlist but this was quickly vetoed by the Diva Foodwalee sisters, before a United Nation level diplomatic incident could get out of hand Benz Foodwalee suggested some peacekeeping measures and proclaimed that the two Spotify playlists could be combined and songs can be played in Alternate sequence.
This was unanimously agreed and the crisis was averted at the 11 hour.
The Diva Foodwalees kicked with YG and “Suu Woop” and I countered with Elton John and Nakita
This then went to and frow until while in the middle of the Hip Hop classic “Don’t believe the Hype” by Public Enemy they proclaimed that they were starving.
As we were just south of Manchester, I consulted the sage of Google and decided to head to Manchester and try out the much-hyped Retro Burger joint, Archies.
They boasted the likes of The Game and Floyd Mayweather as their customers.
We finally negotiated the notorious Manchester one way system and managed to park close by.
By that time we were ravenous and could not wait to tuck in.
Thankfully the ordering queue was short and we got ordering post haste, the person who was taking our order seemed unsure of the menu and when we asked for recommendations the answers were unhelpful and monosyllabic.
We managed to order and then went to search for a suitable place to sit, the first table we sat at we were deafened by the extractor fan situated directly above our table, thankfully another table just vacated after finishing their lunch and we quickly snapped it up.
First up the Archies speciality milkshakes arrived.
The milkshakes were delicious and creamy and the tiny pieces of cookie reminded us of the first chocolate chip milkshakes when TGIF opened in Glasgow, back in the day.
While we waited for the main event we opted for the Louisiana Hot Chicken tenders and wings, the chicken was moist and tender, however, the sauce was formulaic and definitely mass produced and commercially bottled.
The loaded nachos arrived next, the nachos were smothered in the cheese sauce and topped with spicy Chilli con Carne and Jalapenos…they were nice, messy and tasty.
My burger arrived and it was headliner called The Route 66, it was billed as having a beef, Turkey Bacon. special Archie’s sauce, lettuce and tomato in a Brioche Bun.
The smashed beef pate did not have the seared caramelised beef crust on the outside which usually comes with a freshly made Beef pate cooked on a griddle and the Brioche bun was crumbling, which could have been a number of things, firstly it was not fresh or not enough butter was used prior to its baking thus leaving it dry and crumbling.
The Chicken peri Burger was unimaginative, the chicken fillet was dipped in some bottled generic “Peri Peri” sauce and put in a bun with some flaccid iceberg lettuce and cash and carry mayonnaise.
Nothing to write home about.
In Conclusion, Archies was very generic and unimaginative, the food lacked any redeemable features and the staff needed more training.
There was plenty of hype about celebrities liking the restaurant so much they wanted to take it to America, this just reminded me of the Public Enemy song Don’t believe the Hype.
The likes of Shakeshack and Five guys offered better-tasting burgers, I can’t see how this could conquer the home of the Burger.
The Archies social media relied on regular name drops to entice star-struck customers to come in, a la Planet Hollywood.
I decided to use the unisex washrooms to wash my hands… they were filthy!!!! I recoiled in horror, I pointed this out to the staff and I was met with indifference bordering on insolence.
The Customers in Manchester must be easily pleased, this could not survive in London or Glasgow, whose clientele is more decerning.